That Connection

For three unconsecutive but short-spanned days, I was assigned at ICU Extension. Their patients are long-term chronic patients with ventilators. During that time that I was there, they only have two patients, a man and a woman, both geriatrics, both diagnosed with respiratory failure, and both depends their lives on the machines attached to their bodies.

The old man's respiratory failure is secondary to his chronic motor neuron disease. He is quadriplegic (paralyzed on all four limbs). Paralyzed that he is, he cannot move his body. He can talk but you will not hear any sound because of the tracheostomy tube on his throat attached to the ventilator. Yes, he is fully conscious, but helpless.

Whenever he wants anything, he would make a sound with his teeth. That has became his "call bell" since he won't be able to press the call bell beside him. The only part of his body which he can move by himself is his head and his face.

Every now and then, he would get our attention with his "call bell". Usually he wants only to move his legs on his desired position, ask for another blanket or fix his blanket  suction his tracheal secretions, or fix his arms. And since he cannot do any gesture but his face and his voiceless talking, we find it very hard to understand him. My companion said not to mind all of his requests especially when it comes to moving his legs and hands because he cannot feel anything there anyway. According to her, his requests are pure psychological.

I tried to ignore him when he is calling our attention, but I find the sound of his teeth disturbing, so whenever he does it, I would go to him  and ask him what he wants. It takes a lot of patience in understanding what he is telling you by reading his mouth, not to mention that he speaks Arabic, and I'm just a beginner in that language. And I admit, sometimes, I lose my patience while I was trying to understand him, and I would just tell him that I cannot get what he wants. I will leave him for a moment but he will make the sound again, making me go back to him. If he wants to move his feet, he wants it to be placed specifically on a position he wants, and if you don't place it in that position, he would either make a sound with his teeth again or will shake his head.

The cycle goes on for the entire three shifts that I was there. But there's a catch. He would smile gratefully whenever I was able to understand him and do what he wants. I felt a kind of contentment whenever he smiles at me. He may not verbally say his appreciation, but his smile that reaches his eyes is enough for me to say that I've been his effective health care provider. 

I may not be wearing white, but I am sure I've been his angel for a while.

Feeling contented again.

Twenty Five

No, I'm not gonna rant that I'm growing old already. I mean, who doesn't grows old? Everyone does. And growing old is an inevitable life process. And when we grow, it should not only be adding in the number of your age years, but also in learning based from your life's experiences and acting as your age.

Today, I've turned twenty five. And the fact that I am thousand of miles away from my loved ones doesn't change the fact that I've grown old. And the responsibility that I am bearing heavily on my shoulder, and that I am sure I'm handling well, plus I am able to live and tolerate life away from home is just a few evidence that I am growing up as well.

Okay, so much for that.

I may be miles away from my family, friends and loved ones but today seems like I'm with them nonetheless. I started my day reading birthday greetings thru texts and Facebook messages and wall posts. I may not put it in my FB profile that it is my birthday today but because of the first greetings on my wall, others followed to greet me just when the clock strikes 12 midnight, Philippine time.

After reading those heartwarming greetings, I started to cook for my little party which was held later in the night. Take note, I stayed in the kitchen from eleven in the morning to six in the evening, making my body ache, especially my right arms from stirring all those foods. My flatmate helped me in slicing the onions and vegetables, but the rest, I did it alone.

We are supposed to set up the place, our accommodation's recreation center but because I was too busy at the kitchen, I have not found any time to do it.

No, I haven't bought that dress for the party. It was been staying inside my closet for quite sometime.

My birthday cake. Double Fudge Chocolate.

My initial visitors. Raine, Ate Wilma, Ate Bebe Roxy, Anne, Ate Jess

Here's the catch. I started planning for this day during my Valentines date with my ward colleagues. Because we're rarely together, they asked when our next get-together will be. That gave me the idea to invite them in our accommodation for my birthday. They all agreed and were even excited when videoke was mentioned. That set the plan. We will celebrate my birthday at the recreation center with matching videoke.

Now, I didn't know nor even came to my empty brain that a request from our Housing Department is needed when using the recreation center for parties. To make the story short, I didn't made any request. It was the first time that I will be using the place and the first time to invite my colleagues from other accommodation area. And to make matters worse, I was afraid that the guard will catch us for using the place without permit so I went to him and asked him if we can use the place even without the papers. He was firm in saying no, and even asked opinion from the Duty Security Officer in the hospital, who also said no. I talked to the DSO and tried if my charm will work, but he didn't even budged. He gave me the number our company's Security Supervisor so that I can talk to him but he had the same answer.

My colleagues arrived while I was still in the process of convincing the three men. They were not allowed to enter. Even them had tried to convince the guard, but to no avail. 

STRANDED. They never had the chance to enter!

ALL SMILES in spite of the tears.

But that didn't stopped the fun. I don't want to further ruin my already failed birthday party. I packed the foods for them and apologized for their inconvenience. They left without even touching the microphone and the videoke that they were excited about.

I went back to my other visitors and started to enjoy the party with them. The rest is all fun.

Thanks to Joan for unselfishly lending her mediacom.

Gifts! Thanks to you all!

I turned twenty five today, and I thanked the good God for my previous twenty four. And I'm praying for a good twenty five as well.