Ana Qwayyis

One of my patients, whom we know very well because she is frequently admitted due to sickle cell anemia in painful crisis, asks for Morphine injection because she is complaining of severe body pain. After following the narcotic drug protocol, I am ready to give the injection and went to her room.

"Here is your Morphine injection. Where do you want me to inject it?" I asked in Arabic.
"You? Why you?" She asks me, why I will be the one to inject her.
"Because I am your nurse", I said.
"No, I don't want you."
"Can you tell me why?"
"Because you are new."
"No, I am one year here already. I'm not new anymore."
"I want the old nurses. New nurses are not good."
"Ana qwayyis" (I am good), I said with a laugh.

She laughed with me while offering her right deltoid muscle for subcutaneous injection of the drug. While I am injecting, she says while laughing, "Why are you saying you are good? You must wait for me or the other nurses to tell you that you are good."

I laughed with her question while finishing my injection and asked her, "I am good, right? See, you didn't even flinched when I gave you the injection." Then she went on with her usual lines of jokes with all the nurses. She asked me, "What's your name again?", and when I repeated her my name, she answered she will not call me that, instead, she will call me ANA QWAYYIS.

From then on, during the entire shift, whenever she wants something and whenever I visit her in her room, she would call me ana qwayyis. Apart from that, she gave us something for snack.

This only shows that patience with your patients, accompanied by therapeutic communication technique is a great tool to earn the trust of your patients. Previously, during the first few hours of the shift, she seem to averse the idea that I will be her nurse because she wants "old nurses" but as the hours pass, I got to please her.

I had a fulfilled feeling, again.

In-Tensed

Today I was floated to Intensive Care Unit, a place where every patient looks like a Christmas tree. Tubings were hanging, cardiac monitors and ventilators were beeping non-stop. Everything was alien. And the patients? Well, anyone who weren't used to ICU and who doesn't have any medical background will never imagine their condition and how they look like.

It was the first time I was floated there, no, just a help actually because I never had any ICU background even on my college years, and the moment I stepped inside the unit, I asked myself, what will happen next? What awaits my entire 12-hour shift here? And really, I was puzzled on what's happening with the regular staff buzzing around, very busy with one is to one nurse to patient ratio.

Photo credit to Wikipedia

Aside from the monitors at the patients' bedsides, there is also a central monitoring screen at the Nurse's station showing each patient's ECG tracing and vital signs. They are also doing total parenteral nutrition, which I haven't had the chance to experience before.

What I did? I became an instant file porter and errand girl, going to the pharmacy, to the laboratory, to the blood bank, and to the ICU extension, aside from helping them turning the patients to sides. I wanted to ask questions and learn, but I wasn't given the chance. Imagine them very busy and me disturbing them asking questions.

Now that we are allowed to help at ICU, I am looking forward to more days working with the ICU staff. And I am hoping that in the next days to come, I will be able to learn their way.

Crossed fingers.

Major Major

This is not a Venus Raj ditto nor the Indie rock band from Liverpool. This is just a summary of the "major major" things that have happened in my life for the past fifty two weeks.

Year of the Dragon has been good to me. No, good is an understatement. Very good I think is a good term. It's not that the previous years has not but I really felt that 2012 is my year, considering the fact that I was also born on the year of the Dragon.

Like any other years, I had my ups and downs. I started the year with sorrow. Three days before the shifting of the year, my grandfather who has been good to us left us at the age of a hundred. He was so kind that anything you ask him, he would definitely give it to you as long as he can. I was devastated when I learned the sad news that I have never had the time to rejoice after hearing the news that I had been hired in the institution where I am working now. The news that my great grandfather died and the news that I was hired here came on the same day and at the same hour of the day. Great, isn't it?  The sadness was overwhelming that I forgot if I ever had said thank you to the agent who had broke me the good news and asked me to sign the offer letter.

I signed the offer letter, had my medical examination, had the result that I am fit to work, had my visa and without much waiting, I already had the day of my flight. I attended for the first time the mandatory PDOS (Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar), bought myself lots of sweatshirts because I will be arriving at the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia during winter season, and went home to say my goodbyes prepare things for my upcoming departure.

And oh, before I forgot, I went to the Department of Labor and made a scene there, crying in front of two lawyers! I went there because I was threatened that I will be blocklisted because I didn't followed the 30-day resignation policy. I don't know whether in their hospital or from other hospitals. I asked them if it is possible that I will be blocked, and they made a very good advice to me. *Wink*

Saying goodbye is difficult especially if it is your first time to travel abroad. No, I didn't shed a tear. I told myself not to do that. I've shed tears almost the whole four years of my college life and I promised myself that I will cry not because of petty matters.

When I came back to Manila, I've packed my things, held a simple dispedida party with my colleagues at the hospital, and met my college friends, some of them I haven't met again since graduation.

And the most important thing that happened to me? I just had a boyfriend two or three hours before boarding our plane! Nice timing, huh?

For the first time I was able to ride the plane and stepped out of the country, and started living independently. Not that I was not independent before. I have learned living away from my parents not a long time ago, but of course, this is different.

I started my new job, had the so-called culture shock, met new friends, had my very first birthday here in the Kingdom, passed my probationary period and started working as regular staff. I also passed the Saudi Council and had my license here.

After my 6th month, I started to start as charge nurse, which means greater responsibility-- handling my own patients while handling all the patients in the ward, going with the doctor's rounds, and handling the keys of the narcotics and controlled drugs, which are equivalent to millions in the Philippines, and if anything was lost or given to the patient by mistake, it means going back to the Philippines immediately.

I had my minor accident with matching syncope while having our motorbike adventure at Azizia, got a small scratch, and was reprimanded by my boyfriend, my bestfriend, and my bestfriend's mom. Yes, you read it right. I haven't told my own mom about it but my "other" mom knows.

And because I the one earning, I was able to send my siblings to school. My sister, who was born next to me is now a graduating college student, and I am very proud that I am the one who sends her to school. Apart from that, I am also sending my brother to college. He had stopped for two years due to financial constraints.

There were times when homesickness attack me. And during those times, I always remind myself that this is not just for me and my future, but for my family as well. Sometimes, those thoughts would help me get to my senses.

I had my fair share of ups and downs, but being life as like a roller coaster, we just have to enjoy the ride.

A Christmas Promise

Okay. So I have celebrated my Christmas away from home. It's not the first time actually. I have spent my last two Christmases at Manila but being thousands of miles away at a two separate continents plus being in a country where Christmas is not celebrated is an entirely different thing. While I was at Manila, I was able to  be with my uncles and cousins, but here, I am with people I only knew for months.

I'm not throwing a big fuss in celebrating the holidays here. I mean, I was busy on the wards taking care of my patients and there is not much time to muse with the fact that I am not with my family. Besides, my family here are my colleagues. And my patients.

As long as I was able to call my family and boyfriend and greet them a Merry Christmas is enough for me. As long as I know that they are safe and they know that I love them and as long as they knew that the reason that I am not with them is because I want them to live a comfortable life will suffice my desire to be with them.

And I will fulfill my promise to be with them next Christmas and New Year.

New Female Medical Ward's X-Mas Party

From the time we started as floaters, we barely see each other. And today was the second time we were completed. Not really complete because the three of us is currently on duty and one is on her annual vacation, enjoying the Christmas season with her family. The first time was when we had our meeting regarding this Christmas party.

My Manita's wish. Red Nine West wallet. (I was not able to take a photo of the gift itself :(.. )

I prepared gifts not only for my "manita" but also for all the New Female Medical Ward Staff. It was just a simple gift but they were surprised! Of course, my preceptor, ate Karen's gift is special, my way of saying thank you for teaching me well during my first few months here.

Simple gifts for all NFM Girls..

Narcissistic. My attire during the party. As if they will be able to see it. Urgh.

TGIF. The Venue.

The yummy foods. Nom nom! 

The "Girls"

Ate Ave's gift. Tiffany and Co.'s 92.5 necklace and anklet!

The entire party consisted of picture taking, which will never be lost in any parties, and catching up with each other's lives since we barely see each other at the hospital.

We really missed the laughters before the renovation projects even if we're very busy. I think only us can laugh with the cleaning of the patient's perineum after passing stool.

Hoping to see you all again in our own ward, guys!

Author's Note: More photos here: Christmas Party

Korean at KSA

After the extreme hotness of the long summer weather, winter drastically replaced the hot temperature, without much warning that he is coming. And to prepare myself for the new season, tadaaaah!

Prepped-up for the early morning walking at Corniche.

Faces for the Winter Season

I don't know if you would agree but a few have asked me if I am a Filipina or a Koreana. And my flatmate said I really looked like a Korean when she saw me wearing this.

What do you think?

The Disgusting Kiss

It was during those days where I am not with my usual careful self. My flatmate and I are walking from Jarir Bookstore to Tamimi Market, a distance with a mere 50 meters or less.

I was talking to Ate Wilma while we were walking side by side, exchanging funny stories at work. I have seen the black *****  man, maybe in his late teenage years or in his early twenties, tall for his age, walking towards us while we were also walking towards the entrance of the market. I didn’t notice anything unusual about him. I mean, he’s alone and he seems to be walking only just to go somewhere else. He was already in front of us and in a blink of an eye, he grabbed my head with his big two hands and forced his lips to kiss me. My adrenaline might have worked hard so I was able to put my face away from him. Good thing I didn't tied my short hair so he was only able to kiss my hair. I put on all my strength to fight him while in the back of my eyes, I can see my flatmate punching him in the back. He ran away as fast as he grabbed my head.

We were not able to do anything. I want to run after him to get my revenge but my foot have planted itself on the road. I was trembling with fear. So is my companion. We entered the market while I was still shaking.

When we left the market, I was hoping to see him again and punch him in his ass but I didn’t see even his shadow.

I rubbed my face very hard when we got home, hoping to remove any trace of that yucky kiss. Everytime I remember the details, I tremble with fear and anger.

If with just a mere unwanted kiss and only on my face covered with my hair, I felt very dirty, how much more will be the feelings of rape victims?

What’s worse, we are in a country where even if you are the victim, with just a single lie of the perpetrator, you will be the one who will be jailed.

I fear for my life. And for the life of my fellow OFWs.

Ghost Stories

Halloween season may be over, but I am going to post this nonetheless.

Nine months ago when I first stepped into this building. Great, I said, I will be living in this place for my whole stay in the hospital I will be working. What I only thought during that time is who I will be living with and how am I going to live my life with them. To make the story short, I didn't welcome any negative thoughts regarding how the building looks and whatsoever.

When I met my room mate and had a short chat with her after she had shown me my room and introduced ourselves to each other, I was welcomed by the long-awaiting comfort of my single-bedded room and I enveloped myself under the warmth of the new comforter that was provided by the hospital. I slept the whole day, experiencing the so-called jet lag, feeling nothing but apprehension regarding my new environment and being thousands of miles away from my loved ones.

Then comes my first day at work. I met some of my ward colleagues. One of them asked me which flat I am staying. When I answered "7-C" (7th floor, room C), she nods her head while saying, "Oh, you're on that flat. Are you not feeling anything there?" Of course, my curiosity was triggered, and I asked what kind of feeling she's talking about. And she told me the story of a young woman in her early twenties who previously lives in our flat a long time ago who committed suicide by jumping from our flat to the ground floor after she was raped by a ***** man when she mistakenly pressed 12th floor instead of 7th floor on the elevator after washing her clothes at the basement in the middle of the night. (Before, according to them, our building is an accommodation of both singles, men and women, and on the upper floors are families.) It was said that she was silent when she arrived in her room but was found the next morning lying on the groud, dead, with her hands holding a rosary tightly.

I cringed with pity to the young woman and said to myself that it will never happen to me. I wondered where among the two rooms in our flat that woman stayed. When I come back to our flat, I became silent and went outside the sliding door, looked down and imagined how the young woman must have looked like when she was found lying on the road. I murmured a silent prayer for her soul and then entered my room.

That was the end of it. I forgot all about that young woman, and I didn't feel anything inside my room after that. I learned though, after a few days that she stayed at the room next to mine.

Anybody could guess where my room is? :)

Then recently, I experienced something. I woke up at past 5 o'clock in the morning but I didn't get out of bed because it is my off duty. I forced myself to go to sleep again. Then at about six, I can feel that I am being dragged to sleep again. I am half awake and half asleep. I know that I am awake because I can feel my flatmate working in our kitchen which is just adjacent to my room as she prepares for her duty at the hospital we are working. I felt that someone knelt at the foot part of my bed, just near my feet, then seconds after that, I felt three blows on my right ear (I was lying on my left). I tried to open my eyes to see who is it. I even thought that it was my flatmate, trying to wake me up. It took me a hard time to open my eyes, and when I did, I saw nothing but the emptiness of my room.

Before that happened to me, I have heard different scary stories in our building. One said that she had seen a white lady standing on her door when she woke up. Another said that she had seen a red blot of hand in her legs as if somebody hold her legs tightly and for a long time. Some said they heard weird sounds, and some hearing doorbells and when they check who is outside, they see none. It happened to me too. Not just once or twice, but many times. I am alone in our flat (as I always is) and I heard our doorbell rang. Of course, I went out of my room and peeped on the peephole on our main door, but seen nobody. I opened the door and checked outside, but nobody is there.

But I always believe that everywhere, ghost stories do happen. Even in our own house, my sister reported that she had seen big hairy feet tied with chains. From the previous hospital where I worked, my colleagues claimed to have heared unusual voices. One of them heared a baby's cry where in fact there in no child admitted in the ward and no baby from the watchers either. One time, while I was taking the vital signs of my sixteen-year old patient, she and her mother simultaneously looked towards the comfort room inside the ward. When I asked them what it is, they said they've seen somebody, but faded in the air. One patient claimed she had seen a white lady and he even thought that it was a nurse. A watcher on one of my shifts claimed she had seen one also, inside the vacant ward, which door is half-glass and wood on the lower half.

I am always thankful that I've never seen one, but I am not praying that they will show themselves to me either. In my point of view, the reason I have that experience is that because I slept without praying first. I was installing something on my computer and I didn't knew that I slept while waiting for the installation to be completed.

It is just a matter of faith to Him. Praying sincerely will help prevent those things from happening. And let's pray for their souls also, that they may find peace so that they will not be loitering around.

Please bow your heads and say a little prayer.

It's Rainin' in KSA!

This may seem exaggerated, but I really felt extremely excited when I have seen the group of dark clouds forming in the vast blue sky. For a first-timer in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia like me, it can't be helped but be happy when the rain falls. It is almost a year now that I have been living here but I haven't experienced rain here yet.

I was supposed to sleep because I came from my graveyard shift, but I waited for the rain to fall. I didn't even lied down on my bed even if my body is urging me to do so. Unfortunately, darkness has enveloped the whole city but no drops of rain fell. Until it was time for me to go out to meet my bestfriend ate May who works two cities away from me. I left home with the hope that I will be able to see the rain fall. 

And there, while we were waiting for a taxi when we're about to go home, the first drop of rain hit me in my face. I cannot help but put on a big smile. For a while, I hesitated to ride the taxi that stopped in front of us and just play in the rain just like before when I was still in our province. I was already in college then but I still played in the rain with my little sisters and brothers. It feels so good to feel the rain dropping on your face and feel the cold water dripping off your clothes. If not for the taxi waiting for us to ride and my companion's eagerness to go home so that she can still iron her uniform for tomorrow's work, I might be able to feel even just a little more raindrop on my face.

The first rain I have experienced since I arrived nine months ago.. :)

We were already inside the car when the rain poured itself uncontrollably, and I cannot help but take some photos.

I hope I can be able to bathe in the rain again, just like the good old days.

Crossed fingers.

And crossed toes.

XP

Happy Birthday, Mama!

In a lifetime, I will never find another woman, who would love me unconditionally as you have. Me and my siblings are truly blessed for having you in our lives. The one who can see beyond our smiles and tears, and the one who cares about us more than anybody else. The one whose prayers kept us safe always and the one whose strength could carry a ship...

I may be thousands of miles away from you, but my heart will always be with you. 

My Mama dearest.. :D

Have a super awesome birthday, Mama! I love you!